Sometimes my anguish has the 

the taste of salt,

lip biting

and breaking of the sternum.

Sometimes it’s with me staring at dead ends and praying to the living Gods that it isn’t today when everything collapses.

It comes without a declaration of war,

it comes

 with the dry skin

the muscles tense for battle

and my reflection has a death that demands to be heard.

My sadness has the taste of looking at doors and windows with the desire for arms that hold me when the air is lost in my lungs

Is that everything has the flavour of the discounted time,

And I fear open streets and public places

as not to feel when the statue breaks with a hello that has the connotations of: "Are you okay?"

that breaks into millions of lies that are translated into hollow-eyed smiles.

And it is that every time it has the taste of regrets that I never understood.

 

Ta.

Ma ca bre

Call me selfish

Because it's mine and nobody else's

Throw your stones of the value of your sin

And see how little it matters to me

Because this is of the small portion of trash that I own

This pain that tears my soul and leaves me speechless is mine

These tears that mark my veins are mine

Everything you have killed by betraying and beat down is of my possession

Because I do not want to share with all the empty words that I have what it is like to speak in anguish

I do not want to explain to all the corrupt echoes that you were the pain that they never let me explain

I do not want to remember the bells I cried for.

And

It's evil

If you want

It's a curse

If you prefer

Call it as you please

That I give zero fucks

Because here I am throwing myself for everything that is toxic

As not to remember how they killed me in their silence.

 

Ta.

If you are happy and you know it,

don’t read my poetry.

If you believe in love and you know it,

burn what I write.

If you are one of the optimists of the rain,

run from my name.

If you believe there is salvation here,

leave because here there is only loneliness shared. 

 

Ta.

hahaha

Let’s do the desolated laugh

I have reached all the sadness

of the human being

I am the broken mirror and every paper cut

because I’m pitiful with pathetic 

that leaves the soul hungry for nothing and everything

let’s make an empty applause

that I have arrived at the punch line of the funeral

because my words no longer have a voice

There is no longer anyone to protect the fire

that burns the ashes that I touch every midnight

and well

let’s make a minute of honest silence

that I no longer have anything to share that won’t be forgotten 

Ta.

It feels like one of those days where I would see you walk by my window

you would say you have plans and ask for my key

we would take a raincoat and we would have the umbrella as we would be a while.

Your car would be the old broken down

that sounds like a hurt cat every time you start it

and you like to change its name for the first curse word I say.

It’s of those days where you would buy old bread for goat cheese

and you would tell me of drinking the wine with tea because you had the need to sleep in my lap

The umbrella would give us shelter from the rain

the raincoat would cover our legs

and the wine would keep us drunk enough to say I love you.

Ta.

I fell in love with you in low ceilings and intertwined arms

with flickering lights

during the rush hour

and messy kisses on the cheek.

I fell in love with you in the fall of a cliff

with the truths in every breath

expectations of strangers

and in the way, we always won our bets

But

I got tangled in green eyes and you in messy curls

we tied ourselves with burnt rope and vowed to make it in dead parks

we were a safe and probable bet

we were lovers of the eternity and closed doors

we were everything

and we were nothing.

Ta.

It hurts to read

It hurts in the shared kisses

and the lost hugs

Because I think about you and the moments that you were more than the memories that are now an imagination of my mind

It hurts to remember your breath on my neck and your thump thump

It kills me every time I think about the union of your smile and my name 

because no one ever pronounced it so sweetly

It breaks me to think about you without me and me without you because I never thought of losing our ways and suffering from your poison. 

I never prepared myself. 

so this is how I get lost in the haze of murmured words

of how it hurts to not be able to love you. 

Ta.

I know I should be writing something

when I feel the bombs ticking 

I should burn my fingertips and make another failure 

but

I am a circle

a repeat

and so cheap that nobody loves me. 

The problem I always have is that,

I think about it, 

I write it 

to feel everything squared.

And nobody wants to buy what everyone is not understanding

as I also no longer need that attention 

nor want to be with this pain that is corroding me

yet, it’s my language.

But that doesn’t mean that is right

to write with the eyes of a mirror.

 

Ta.

It's a dirty secret that nobody knows, you have it stuck in your throat with desire and addiction.

You are with the armed words and your hands are marking your skin in red lines,

your despair is a clue.

The songs are on repeat

you are balance is a broken light

with empty bottles, this is a cry of sadness.

Still, it's a secret

you have it written on your eyelids,

you repeat it when the bed is cold

and the mind is screaming

You reveal it when the veins are burning

and your eyes cry dry tears with closed lips.

Ta.