Mourning

You make all these plans were,

you are going to get married

you will breathe three days

and you are going to read more.

You think about them years in advance,

you thought them with care and with rules

you do it because you think

than in five years,

ten years

and forty years from here

he will continue to be there, like a firm tree

and loyal.

They are plans with rules and written in cement,

you have them with you like a dream,

until you blink

just a second where you do not look before crossing

and then a year stops existing

because he is no longer here

And what are the plans for without him?

T.A.

Thirteenth

I'm afraid of the moving of your lips

with the breathing of your lungs,

It scares me how you say my name

when you hold me in your arms,

the cowardice in me is born with every heart-beat that you give me.

I would apologize for the stolen time

but I have already fled to another time and space

to just avoid the love you proposed

just avoid betting on the pain of us.

T.A.

Twelfth

I calculate the hysteria in three seconds

I inhale and exhale while the clouds change,

trot between the passing of the cars

and I stop when I have a plan,

it takes me three seconds to reason

what you ask me

However,

it takes me a second

to forget it and scream

for ruining me.

T.A.

Eleventh

Honey eyes

long fingers,

paper balls

in written banks

we were 17

and it was simple

because he smiled at me

and I believed.

Now everything is a doubt and stumble,

everything is another and not him.

And it is forever to remember the whisper of:

"One more try"

TA.

Tenth

It was in the shower

Underwater

with  eyes open

and air in the lungs

that I recognized

that a day had passed

without thinking of you,

and I smiled because,

  My world still existed.

T.A.

Ninth

I'm going to camp

recline under the stars

exhale and inhale,

I will go to the mountains

I will hide in the trees

I will walk and I will fall.

But I will go,

since the wind changed

and with the birds, I will go

because the time of change has arrived

to me.

T.A.

Writes

With dead fingers and empty words, he writes.

He writes only to forget the memories of the past.

But writing makes them perpetual.

Without death or end.

Then he smokes, he takes, he bleeds and he dies.

Die to forget.

Forget everything about him.

But he still sighs,

he still murmurs the memories that he does not forget,

that is his punishment.

And drunk, drugged, dead.

He still writes.

Write ink storms and bone pains.

Write because he wants his memories to torture another, that they belong to another.

He writes alone, abandoned and dead,

He writes for company.

T.A.

Eight

I do not think I have problems with alcohol

I think I have problems with my mind

and that I think is much worse.

Yes, much worse.

T.A.

Seventh

We are separated in spaces between planets

destined to doubts in the minutes

and to failure in our loves,

but still, our shadows intertwine.

T.A.