The coward

And I use your presence as armor and sword,

between the letters of your name I hide

With blurred memories I disappoint them

in a forgotten past and a fictional future

I hide from what my heart demands.

T.M.

Lightning

Lightning doesn’t fall twice in the same place

and that's you and me.

Our time was lost in the threads of life,

the truths became sins

and we get carried away by the current

only sighs burned from us

with unhealed wounds.

Our time has escaped and ended,

now we must bury it and mourn.

T.M.

The seduction of the devil

At three thirty in the morning he whisper in my ear:

What would you give for him?

It was the soft and seductive voice of my tempter and sinner,

the devil

I turned around on the bed to see the stars go out and I cried in supplication:

My whole life

At half past three and a minute, I cried for the life I lost for a person who did not cry for mine.

T.M.

Painful relationships

He bites his lips

because there is still some poison in them

the tongue bathes his teeth with rust

he has the pain in the fingers of the failed attempt

in writing and deleting a word lost in memory

he stays awake at dawn with the doubt of memories

and even when people ask,

he only chokes on his words and flees at the speed of his marked routes

He has a wound in the heart of which he is silent

a part of his story drowned in sleepless nights

and fulfilled promises that were born of the broken ones.

There is something in which he is lost and broken,

something that is never talked about.

T.M.

Not denying

It hurts to read,

It hurts the shared kisses

And the lost hugs

Since I think of you and the moments that were more than the memories that are already imagination of my mind.

It hurts to remember your breathing in my neck and your heartbeat in my ears,

It kills me every time I think of your smile and my name on your lips, because nobody had ever said it so sweetly before.

It breaks me to think of you without me and me without you, because I never thought about losing our ways and suffering from your poison in me.

I never prepared myself, and that's how I get lost in a fog and sighing words. Because I can say that I do not love you, that there is a new opportunity in each fallen leaf, nevertheless I can not say that it is not of you that I dream, it is not of you that I think and I drown. I can not say that I forget you.

I left me raw and naked before you, with truths, needs and pains, I trusted you in the pure blindness and you caught me to let go when in your arms I felt safe.

It hurts to believe that in some world, at some time and in another reality maybe, perhaps, probably, you could have loved me too.

T.M.

What matters

His name does not matter, not really, what matters is that I could never define the color of his eyes, he said he changed with the light and I said it was the way he laughed when I hurt him or the way he looked at the person to my left when I spoke to him, what really matters about him is how he took two seconds and a word to create a year of my life in a century of torment and a notebook of love poems condemned and tormented, that is what I think when I hear the echo of a name like his, when he walks to my right and denies me, I think of every second and every minute lost and revived, to be able to disarm and understand where it fails and where we collide, because people do not stop pointing his fingers at me and he keeps sighing his faults in me.

What matters of him is that he told me about his loves, his family and his friends, and he only lied to me in hidden words and hidden smiles, the worst thing was that I saw him, I saw him lying to me about his friends and how he hid the love for his parents as if it were poison because if he deceived me, I loved only an illusion created by the eyes that were a kaleidoscope.

The last time I spoke with him, I was brave, with my hand in an old heart and bathed in blood I approached him and in his eyes I saw an unknown color and dead eyes, we talked for a few minutes and in a few seconds I knew that I no longer loved him and that he was not the one who mattered and although I could smile that it did not hurt anymore and that I could breathe, it only created destruction in me to see him go and think about: what was important about him in my life? I let myself be dragged by thorns and reject youth and opportunities for someone like that, I wanted to understand while he left me again with empty promises and a goodbye on the lips because I gave so much to him who never loved me.

His eyes,

his name

his personality

They did not really matter, what mattered was the way they wanted me and let me cheat in a sweet love that no longer exists, what matters is what lasted a month in a year.

T.M.