His name does not matter, not really, what matters is that I could never define the color of his eyes, he said he changed with the light and I said it was the way he laughed when I hurt him or the way he looked at the person to my left when I spoke to him, what really matters about him is how he took two seconds and a word to create a year of my life in a century of torment and a notebook of love poems condemned and tormented, that is what I think when I hear the echo of a name like his, when he walks to my right and denies me, I think of every second and every minute lost and revived, to be able to disarm and understand where it fails and where we collide, because people do not stop pointing his fingers at me and he keeps sighing his faults in me.
What matters of him is that he told me about his loves, his family and his friends, and he only lied to me in hidden words and hidden smiles, the worst thing was that I saw him, I saw him lying to me about his friends and how he hid the love for his parents as if it were poison because if he deceived me, I loved only an illusion created by the eyes that were a kaleidoscope.
The last time I spoke with him, I was brave, with my hand in an old heart and bathed in blood I approached him and in his eyes I saw an unknown color and dead eyes, we talked for a few minutes and in a few seconds I knew that I no longer loved him and that he was not the one who mattered and although I could smile that it did not hurt anymore and that I could breathe, it only created destruction in me to see him go and think about: what was important about him in my life? I let myself be dragged by thorns and reject youth and opportunities for someone like that, I wanted to understand while he left me again with empty promises and a goodbye on the lips because I gave so much to him who never loved me.
His eyes,
his name
his personality
They did not really matter, what mattered was the way they wanted me and let me cheat in a sweet love that no longer exists, what matters is what lasted a month in a year.
T.M.
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