The coward

I have become of the cliffs that bathe and forget, I have welcomed Alzheimer’s and dementia, and that's how I am surviving this atomic party. I said stop twenty-five winters ago and I stopped following the end of the world on Twitter.

I went with the cleansing of bleach, and thus killing the sympathy that was left in this abused and crimeful body of mine. I let them carry the torch and swords to burn the king that has his army and empire. I let them shed their blood into the sewer and to scream the unfairness of the galaxy to burn ears because I had retired. 

I was too damaged and beaten down to try fighting once more. Too ashamed and frightened to acknowledge that honour and rules have been exiled. Too human to mourn the world but not do something about it.

I have locked myself in my bunker with champagne from fifteen years ago and forgotten about the almanac, I have lost all connection to that toxic road. Let other poor animals die for me, as there isn’t any reason to carry on and I shall go into hiding to rest. Let the child ask for the clemency that was denied to us as I have become blind, deaf and mute.

TA.

Wind

The sun's ray shined on her as if she was an object from the past trapped in the now. The heat avoided her, and one could see the light of goodbye with the wind that stretched out in greeting but didn't reach her shadow. 

That moment in time was stopped and called: "Sadness in solitude". 

She was in a forgotten room where the corners hid nightmares that were sweeter than what was happening outside. 

She was melancholy hidden in every fibre of her being that for when the wind tried once more to reach her with the promises of a tomorrow, she would be only looking at the sun with the longing of shutting down and extinguishing her eyes and forget the past, future and present. 

The time stopped with the wind almost reaching her with a helping hand, yet the sun abandoned her and the silence grew. 

Ta.

Begging for a repeat

I was looking for the opportunity to live again the same year, it was a desire hidden in the sky of a thousand and one nights. In which it was all with the same mistakes and that we have too much to believe to compromise. I would accept the pain, falling into addictions and having new demons, I would let them mark me with tattoos and warnings, to have a repeat of us.

It is that I know what would come from us: I have me running through the streets for you, you would be sitting on three to five benches away and you would easy smile. We are with folded arms and we have broken heart flavour. It is that from this poetry was born, from your fingers on my ribs and your phrases are the letters that I use as alcohol to sleep and write about your beauty. Is that if life were asked of me I would give it at half the price.

In that year we wouldn’t say we lived the peak of our lives and we wouldn’t speak in the plural. I would say that I fell in love like blind into the void, without remorse and all the fingers pointed at me. And even with the fear of certain death and a heart for the thief, it was the truth. Even with negative chances and no opportunities, I would take Palermo with cold tea and stories from the past. I would take me sitting on the sidewalk waiting for you to arrive one to three hours later and I having to kick what is left of your skin on the good days. I would choose us at every moment given because my chest contracts and I cannot breathe. I fall to my knees and hold onto the cold floor so I don't beg you to come back. I know that there will be three to one more to love, that my soul and bones will be broken more than thirteen times. But I also know that nothing will leave me without my will like you. 

I would make the exchange because I am already looking for you even on the days that it rains and I am without umbrellas, or when is a Monday twelve at night and your name is what I whisper. It is that I am a pathetic and demanding being, that will be walking through the streets hoping that we would be in a two for one. But the romantics were always good for one-on-one tango and the crown is for unrequited love. Which leaves me with my head on the wall and saying please, I’ll be between one avenue and the other, missing diagonals and cherry trees.

I miss the magic between you and me, that if one believed the other would follow. We had sweet words as calling us fool and it was that there was no stealing because we did not know about treasons and you liked to whistle. Now I learned how to sing about the green colour of your eyes. 

It's that I'm asking homeless people, neighbours, strangers and cousins ​​about the price of having a second chance with you. To have those winter days in which we did not know where we were going, to arrive in spring and have the pleasure at the beginning of the end. I need you for panic attacks and my legs running away when my heart yearns. I look for you because you had already won and I was in love. I tell you to give me back what you took, and I want you one last time to kiss you.

I would accept the same mistakes, the hatred never said, the cuts in the arms, the manipulation and the possessive with the selfish. I would accept us as we were to have us once again.

TA.

The retirement

I have become a chameleon, shipwrecked and a ghost in the two-room house. The defeat is exquisite, accepting that every attempt to drag you down by enemy fire led you to your destruction, and the raising of a white flag is nothing more than freedom from the torture of your sorrow.

I have become a ghostwriter, midnight translator and green screen, but I would agree that it is comfortable and easy. Those who knees tremble at the thought of getting up and those who have already made a niche and are happy with the result because they have no more. I am tired of continuing with this circus, I have retired.

TA.

Explicit

I wanted for you to fell for me, when you saw me dancing with my eyes closed, I would have my fingers crossed and a last wish for you. I was betting everything on you, so I took my risks between those streets, I left myself like an exposed nerve and with my intentions clear. I left it by written and I had witnesses and I mean that in the a way that there should be a universe full of them. Them who saw the way that I caressed you with my scissor hands as if you were made of skin and blood. 

There shouldn’t exist a way for you to deny the knowing of it all, of being able to be blind and unable to understand my defending of you until my voice broke. It was unfathomable for me to believe that you would make a fool of my feelings for you when they were what followed your: “Hi, Who are you?”

TA.

The last test

It was the difference that drew us, correction, drew me to him. Hence it was a simple manipulation with an obsession that led to the chaotic us. You were spontaneous, you exploded and danced in the fire, you were what children wish to be.

You weren't easy to love, you were obvious and that made it challenging, I needed to deny that I was looking for the way you were making me feel. 

Deny that I fell like an idiot before you because you were water under the unforgiven sun, you were life in the eleventh hour.

You liked the silent discussion of movie cult, you were of a jumping temperament and had a short laugh between vowels. 

You were corrupt goodness to which the world had no more excuses and you were the best muse, you were so much that I started haunting the corners without buildings, the squares with the palm trees and the country hospitals. 

You were enough because I was interested in listening and learning from your five o'clock tea to your jumping while dancing. As your love for parakeets with your singing in French and not knowing English. 

You were the one for whom I memorized his birthday because it would have importance in everything and now you're the reason why I love odd numbers. 

You were the possession of the lonely dragon, and it was that you were warm while I slept, you were the snap of the fingers that woke up the beast, and we weren't compatible in one in a billion. 

You were cocky, I was narcissistic, you liked green apples, I didn't like tomatoes. We were ridiculous and laughed because of it, three days too late. 

We were evolving around Olivos because you were thirsty for beer and I wanted to take pictures of an old love, one sweeter than you. 

We knew that we were evil and false, however, we were in the parks of Chacabuco and San Martin talking about the past without searching for answers. I would not say change but yes growth. 

We both came from broken hearts, broken promises and ghosts on our skin. 

We both came from equals and we needed to die, we needed to survive. 

You wanted to breathe and be able to speak slowly, say the R on their behalf as if it were the end of the tongue twister and I wanted to be able to kiss you one last time and know what it is to be breathless.

It is that because we are opposites, we desperately needed each other to explode and born, we needed each other since he said left and I told him right.

We were the wrong ones between yes and no, we made ourselves laugh and our eyes shone in star race. 

We honestly loved each other with intertwined fingers and unrepentant words, in that we were a sweet sacrifice of deceit and games.

Ta.