The coward

And I use your presence as armor and sword,

between the letters of your name I hide

With blurred memories I disappoint them

in a forgotten past and a fictional future

I hide from what my heart demands.

T.M.

Lightning

Lightning doesn’t fall twice in the same place

and that's you and me.

Our time was lost in the threads of life,

the truths became sins

and we get carried away by the current

only sighs burned from us

with unhealed wounds.

Our time has escaped and ended,

now we must bury it and mourn.

T.M.

The seduction of the devil

At three thirty in the morning he whisper in my ear:

What would you give for him?

It was the soft and seductive voice of my tempter and sinner,

the devil

I turned around on the bed to see the stars go out and I cried in supplication:

My whole life

At half past three and a minute, I cried for the life I lost for a person who did not cry for mine.

T.M.

Painful relationships

He bites his lips

because there is still some poison in them

the tongue bathes his teeth with rust

he has the pain in the fingers of the failed attempt

in writing and deleting a word lost in memory

he stays awake at dawn with the doubt of memories

and even when people ask,

he only chokes on his words and flees at the speed of his marked routes

He has a wound in the heart of which he is silent

a part of his story drowned in sleepless nights

and fulfilled promises that were born of the broken ones.

There is something in which he is lost and broken,

something that is never talked about.

T.M.

Not denying

It hurts to read,

It hurts the shared kisses

And the lost hugs

Since I think of you and the moments that were more than the memories that are already imagination of my mind.

It hurts to remember your breathing in my neck and your heartbeat in my ears,

It kills me every time I think of your smile and my name on your lips, because nobody had ever said it so sweetly before.

It breaks me to think of you without me and me without you, because I never thought about losing our ways and suffering from your poison in me.

I never prepared myself, and that's how I get lost in a fog and sighing words. Because I can say that I do not love you, that there is a new opportunity in each fallen leaf, nevertheless I can not say that it is not of you that I dream, it is not of you that I think and I drown. I can not say that I forget you.

I left me raw and naked before you, with truths, needs and pains, I trusted you in the pure blindness and you caught me to let go when in your arms I felt safe.

It hurts to believe that in some world, at some time and in another reality maybe, perhaps, probably, you could have loved me too.

T.M.

What matters

His name does not matter, not really, what matters is that I could never define the color of his eyes, he said he changed with the light and I said it was the way he laughed when I hurt him or the way he looked at the person to my left when I spoke to him, what really matters about him is how he took two seconds and a word to create a year of my life in a century of torment and a notebook of love poems condemned and tormented, that is what I think when I hear the echo of a name like his, when he walks to my right and denies me, I think of every second and every minute lost and revived, to be able to disarm and understand where it fails and where we collide, because people do not stop pointing his fingers at me and he keeps sighing his faults in me.

What matters of him is that he told me about his loves, his family and his friends, and he only lied to me in hidden words and hidden smiles, the worst thing was that I saw him, I saw him lying to me about his friends and how he hid the love for his parents as if it were poison because if he deceived me, I loved only an illusion created by the eyes that were a kaleidoscope.

The last time I spoke with him, I was brave, with my hand in an old heart and bathed in blood I approached him and in his eyes I saw an unknown color and dead eyes, we talked for a few minutes and in a few seconds I knew that I no longer loved him and that he was not the one who mattered and although I could smile that it did not hurt anymore and that I could breathe, it only created destruction in me to see him go and think about: what was important about him in my life? I let myself be dragged by thorns and reject youth and opportunities for someone like that, I wanted to understand while he left me again with empty promises and a goodbye on the lips because I gave so much to him who never loved me.

His eyes,

his name

his personality

They did not really matter, what mattered was the way they wanted me and let me cheat in a sweet love that no longer exists, what matters is what lasted a month in a year.

T.M.

Midnight thoughts

The broken hopes

When I was a boy

I had dreams of greatness

It was as tall as the mountains

and its limits were as far as the sky

I had a need to fly.

I knew I could because I believed that time had no meaning 

and that I was stronger than what adults talked about

when I was young I fell down a cliff

My lips closed down

and my heart learned to fear the hidden palpitations

the dreams were laughter with echoes that hurt

When I reached the age where I die

I thought about every flaw in my plans

and my hands bleed with old wounds

the mountains collapsed

and every battle was a lost war cry

When I had opportunities I forgot them,

burned them,

and escaped them

because I understood that from my failure my pains were born

and from my pains I was born

surrender was the exit and the most effective poison

T.M.

Ghosts

It's a snap

one second

where you fall at the bottom of the bottle

and you do not know where you are

you have tears behind your eyelids

needles in the chest

and fears in the mind,

we do not know how we got there

how we got so lost

and how not to get out of there,

we really do not know anything

so stop asking.

But,

if there is something that we do know,

it's empty eyes

the parched lips

and the hidden arms.

We see us at street crossings

and oceans of worlds

we see us and

for some reason

incomprehensible and inexplicable

we smile,

we approach

we hold on

and we do not let go

because if you drown

I will try to be your float

because if there is a pain that I understand

It's yours and you mine

since if there is a last effort to give

when breathing hurts

and the heart hits the ribs

is to try to save another lost ghost.

T.M.

Never forget you

I will write your poems in tragedies

and I'll talk about your eyes in oceans

I will never let anyone forget

of your lips on my skin

and your name in my confessed sins

I will repeat our condemned love

to the four winds that bind this world of sorrows

So I can live with you even in your absence.

Ta.

Happiness measure

She is happy

with entwined hands

and kisses on the cheek,

promises in the stars

she has the wishes of dreams

and the hugs of the need

it is in clouds that she walks

and in sweetness, she speaks

She is beautiful, cheerful and attractive

and on rainy afternoons

There is a question on the lips of the unhappy

"Is she happy?"

TA.

Lost

When did you get lost on the road?

It would have been when you fell for the first time

or in the first disappointment.

In a moment you were a new hope in a twisted world

and in another, we lost you in a sea of shadows

your steps were shortened

and your words were frightened,

in an instant when we blinked you escaped us

and we do not understand where we lost you

what time do we let you get lost

and shrink

I stay awake at night, with my hand in my heart

with doubts on the lips

and the echoes of your footsteps in the wounds of my soul

and even, in years away and oceans of torment, I wonder

At what moment did we miss you?

T.M.

The fear

The love that I had
it burnt me and forgot about me
the love I desired
It destroys me and abandoned me
and it was not my greatest love
nor was the eternal and unforgettable
However, how not to fear the follower
that will be the fires of hell
and the lips of the angels
how not to fear for the one who'll kill me
Fast and effective.

T.M.

Mortal sins

It's his lips in a stranger,

fingers entwined in a ghost

and words in shouts of bridges,

with an empty bottle of the wrong liquid

and without a voice,

It is with dry tears

that I realise that, that was love

and I lost it in the fear of the sinner.

T.M.

Inexplicable

Respiration contained

edge in my fingers

a fire of shadows in my eyes

and I can not explain what it is like to be me

At 12 pm

with blood in the arms

and peace in the mind.

T.M.

The age

I have the age of young nights

and of rushed kisses

in my veins are the desires of the past

and in my bones the jealousy of my predecessors

it's a complication and a pain

when you have promises to fulfil and places to be

and time escapes with every breath,

and it is too fast and slow.

A life to burn in an exhale of smoke,

There are expectations on my Friday nights,

there is poetry in the words that I hide,

There is imagination surrounding my life.

But,

everything is simpler than that.

Since I'm on a balcony two floors very low,

with a bottle without alcohol and a cat that does not sleep but dreams

And maybe they're in a hurry that I to run with cars

and hurt others without worry.

Nevertheless,

I have the comfort of a life that completes me in solitude

and company sought.

With cats as companions in my youth and books burned in words.

I will be as old as you want,

but not the dreams that you seek.

T.M.

Whom I love

There are times that they ask me

Why him?

And yes, he is not conventionally attractive

and he has the character of a storm

and he's complicated with invisible wounds

but

He keeps me awake when I'm tired

and my tongue always has words with him.

It's not what you're looking for

but it's what my life needs

the way he moves when he talks about what he loves

and the smile when he sees me

and I have no doubt that if everything were lost tomorrow and only him would only exist

I could survive with his mind and soul

I would be complete incomplete.

T.M

The doubt of them

Once you get over someone

That you get tired and you get up from the lake of your tears and decide to live again.

You face the worst challenge of your life,

that your friends and families manage to overcome your weakness for him.

Because you surpass it in months and years

And you break to be able to come back

However

Your people will doubt and ask about your actions close to him

Because they fear that you are in a deception and a word from him could bring you to your knees

Nevertheless

They should know that where you walk the tracks are left and your words are reincarnated prophecies.

And they should not doubt your courage to know that you deserve better and only you are the best.

And he is just a simple excuse of a life that does not deserve your words.

They should know that you know how to love when they doubt you.

T.M.

The death of waiting

And we are in bed,

and your fingers caress my wounds on the skin,

and you question softly, in the form of a secret.

In fear that I have fallen asleep after I have sighed our truth.

You say it and you hold your breath: How did they happen?

And time goes by, you think you see the sun rise and the stars disappear,

you think you sleep and forget the question like a dream that escaped from you,

You just think that everything was an illusion.

  And when it is that you believe it, since you dream the answer.

  It is that you open your eyes to see you in mine

  And listen to the answer that breaks thousands of souls:

Waiting for you.

T.M.

A new love

I'll find you a new love, one that praises you and kisses you in the mornings of meaningless smiles, I'll find you one who speaks your name in prayers and who describes you with a comparison to the seasons, I'll find you someone better, because you deserve it and you need it.

I am only a thorn in the heart and a hurricane trapped in a home, and I can not love you as you seek, although I try in bad plans and breaks in the bathrooms, although I promised with the worn out voice, I do not succeed.

 Because there is something I lost on the road between there and you, and you do not deserve this heart that you say you want, that it is not a heart.

So let me find you a person who adore you with eyes in the stars, write tragedies of your words and jealousy are born when he speaks of your presence, I want to leave you with someone who loves you as you love me, and I want you to know why you deserve better, more, perfection, because you deserve to be loved as you love me and not as I love you.

I want to do something right and that is to give you a love that corresponds to you.

T.M.

Longing

And it's the middle of the night, and I find myself with the constant need to have someone, not a friend, and I already have up to three friends and that already exhausts me. 

No, what I'm looking for is the pain, the adrenaline and the morphine that is to talk to someone at 2 AM and tell them all your secrets in lowercase, I want small rooms for hugs of half an hour and a smile behind my eyelids.

I want to fall in love, but this time different, this time I want someone to love me as I have loved, to tell me and to prove it, to say he is mine and I am his, I want to be able to say I have 3 friends and one person, and I can be alone because I've already shown it, that I can climb alone and fall to raise with dust in the hands, I have demonstrated several times but that does not remove that I want a hand offered and kisses of victory.

 I am alone in a room that measures the length of your imagination and there I write of what I look for, I want and I need. 

And that is a person who loves me without commitment or lies, who loves me with words and actions and loves me as I want and I seek.

And, oh God, oh my God, I can continue until Thursday describing what is everything I dream and I look, because this has been eating me since the new birth of me, it has been harassing me since a name has been sighed and a face given.

 I can continue until nothing stops me, but then the thirst of the desert, because I seek sweetness of honey and cries of bitterness, I look for jealousy in the eyes and kisses on the lips, I look for being able to say he is mine and I am his like he would say.

 I seek a single thing that no one finds and few speak, I do not seek eternity for that I am young and still without knowing where I am standing, but I look for the hope of an eternity and the sigh of the dawn of our love.

I wish in the last star of tonight to grant me that, tomorrow, at least I cross you and that my heart, runs, far and away, saying his the one, the one you are looking for and at least with dreams of you I can live, because I am an alcoholic in abstinence and there is blood to make pacts for only a moment with my beloved.

T.M.

I am not

And I write in lies, because I no longer love anyone, nor do I have the memories,

I only have the echoes of memories and that's what I tell,

the way you did not kiss me and you did not love me

what I'm talking about are shadows in the sunlight

and of that I build my life,

because of what I know, I do not know how to talk about the

dry blood between the nails

and bruises on the lips

so I write of what my hands can manipulate

and what always ends in the three letters that form the same word

in different forms

and with that I get the followers who understand the pain of a lost love and an unrequited love

my ghost game is evil, I speak of them with pains and poisons

but the truth is that I no longer know their names, nor the feelings I had hidden in my chest

the truth is that I'm in a room with words too fast

and a need to write that compares with that of an addict,

with the need to live and breathe

because if I don’t write, I'm not

And if I am not, who am I?

And time for headaches I do not have

because the sand escapes between the fingers

And goodbye my dear because I lost the thread of the words with which I wanted to make you understand the tangled it is to live a life without feelings to explain freely and easily.

T.M.