Closed doors

It disgusts me the way you hide those lives that are in a balance of waste. 

My eyes burn in fury and impotence by the ways you close the doors leaving me without help to offer. 

The hollowness in my chest roars at the pains that are felt before the injustice of the stolen freedom. 

And I blame you for all the years that this earth has of life for each minute of suffering we have. 

I spit on you for every curse that History has to offer for how you are abusing us like a dying animal.

You are leaving with the only weapon at my disposal which is to reveal, if you wanted war if you wanted the demon in me to take form and wake up the sleep in my tired bones, there was another way that wasn’t stealing the joy from life. 

I leave you no warning, you don’t deserve my mercy and sympathy when you have taken away my options. 

If the only thing that I still have left is this pain that roars like a tiger in the jungle and hurts with the poison of your actions, prepared to be burn to your foundations, so I can dance in tears of your ashes. 

TA.

My bitter love

Love isn’t cheap, it isn’t clay, nor the game of the season that you can discard and create to your convenience. It isn’t what you expect and you can’t fix it with flowers and forgiveness. 

And if you come to me with the notion that love survives everything, then you haven’t been lie to your face while you had your heart expose. 

It's beautiful to believe in fairy tales and to think that the princess has a chance with the prince, but, let's go further. Let's follow the story and see how love hinders everything because their first minutes can be magic, they can have stars for eyes and the chances are in their favour. 

However, love isn’t that, love is bitting your lips and fighting against what is written on the rocks. Is that there isn’t worse torture than feeling the beat of your heart and that you are always a step too close to dying when you are next to your person and I’m sorry but love is the first to die. Is just is. It doesn’t have salvation in his kisses or in the way he holds you. 

Because, first there is you, before us, before them, before anything else. There is you, alone, swimming for the first time, repeating your name and learning that you can love him. But you can’t handle the pain that entails bearing with the lies that come out from his lips like a delicacy created just for you and you would love to reach the end of a life with him.  You would like to have the chance to call you eternal and bind you in a commitment that leaves you tangled in a bindweed. 

Yet, it isn’t like that, love never takes you to united roads and betrayal is the price to pay for it. Is that if you really believe that you have a chance then you haven’t truly loved, you haven’t lost and fallen into your knees because you have gotten your soul stole. 

If you have the dream of winning the battle of blood then you haven’t begged to your love not to leave you after you renounced to shame to have him. 

Love isn’t this beauty that they made you believe, where the two of you are safe to be together and be the promise of tomorrow. Love is there to wake you to life and leave you with a hollowness in your chest that marks you as a war victim. 

Don’t go to him thinking that he is the hero, that he has the cure to all evils and that his smiles are where happiness lies. He has poison between his lips and his feet aren’t going to meet you. Its sadness to accept that he does care for you, loves you, wants you, need you and could be the explosion of life in the sky, yet he isn’t next to you. 

You are alone at night, dying from the agony of abstinence and he has left you, he told you he loved you like it was a vow made in front of your God. But love, loves is breakable, is time and what is time if not forgetting the colour of his eyes when he looked at you? There is an ending to the fairy tales, that of where the earth is too big to believe in the existence that there is a power that can do everything. Not when this world tells you that a human wasn’t made to survive the company of another.

If you want love if you seek it, go with open eyes, with weapons at hand and spit blood. Because it isn’t perfection, its murder and you will have to be wielding to commit crimes and sins. As it will demand of you to drag yourself throw mud to then get burnt in the stake, it will want evidence and a need to have you in a leash. 

Love isn’t the simpleness that they told you, is the hate that everyone talks about, the one that all consumes and you are mad. You are an addict that if you don’t have it you forget about breathing, and it will betray you, you will hurt it, you won’t come out the same and it's awful. 

Is the worst damage ever done to me by a loved one and I’ll do it again, just not with him not when it was his love that left me in a hollowness of my self. 

TA.

House of mirrors

The way you laugh and push me expecting companionship from me. Leaves me nauseous and a fist in your face, because you don’t understand that your abuse has repercussions. It’s a labyrinth of mirrors and we are all the reflection.

You try to alleviate it by stammering that there are differences in my eyes, the skin, something in me is distinguished from the person three steps away and on its knees, but no.

The person you pushed is me, the one you insulted is your brother, the one you spat on is your mother, the one you hurt is you.

This world is not me and them, we are a union of all our parts. And we taught you to hate rather than love and that is our fault. However, you repeated the damage in who was your equal.

TA.

Independence day

Happy day to all, enjoy the independence for which we fight tooth and nail for.

Put your flags up on your balconies behind the closed windows. Celebrate at a distance from everyone because now it is our turn to forget the taste of fresh air and begin to doubt if we ever saw the blue sky and felt the sunshine on our faces.

Happy day to us who are now screaming because we have already forgotten that we had to fight for what was a right to all.

Happy day to the betrayed.

TA.

The last great war

I was prepared to face the years with you, I was in planning mode and I had promises that I wanted to keep. For you I had noticed the change of the traffic light, I had learned the rules of war and my skin had become of ivory.  I would have burned my home to be with you and to this day it confuses me, How come it wasn't enough? 

You were looking for love to be easy and light, a passing wind that came to visit and left in silence. That would be the only explanation as to why you jumped overboard when my back was firm to face the beast in order to have you in my arms until my dying breath. Maybe my love was more indestructible than your excuses, I don't know, what I do know is that I was prepared to be the last great war to have your heart in my ribs.

TA.