Forever (until after my death) I’ll carry the guilt of how I left you in oblivion (but, we always were, but) I couldn’t continue with the crumbs you made of my heart. 

(I know that perhaps you loved me, I know that maybe we were nothing) BUT I had to choose me (Believe me, that hurt me more than not being able to hear your laugh any more) there will be no apologies that reach your ears (or enough apologies) BUT I couldn’t with the sadness of having and not having you. 

(And the worst of all is that I waited for you) because I had faith (stupid faith) (wicked faith) (abusive faith) that in three days you would come back to me (but, if you never did before, why would you this time?).

I don’t know, maybe I thought that this time you would realize that your candy words wouldn’t be enough, I thought that perhaps you would do more than what you said, I thought and believed that this time if I was you, and you were me, you would try again.

(Now I know that was wishing that the world turned counterclockwise) so I’m sorry (I’m sorry for surviving your pain, but causing you my pain) I’m sorry for saying: “Me before you” (sorry for still practising your name in every sentence) sorry for wanting to cross you everywhere (sorry for carrying the guilt but not serving the sentence) sorry for putting the dot but not writing the end.

TA.